Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Of Self Discovery

It started in Argentina a couple of years ago. Actually, it started in Toronto. Here I was at the airport about to head on a 14 hour flight to Buenos Aires with 11 others who I met a few months earlier and knew very little about. 21 years of living had me thinking that I wanted to be famous and although the feelings of wanting to become famous are still very alive inside of me, it was for a thousand different reasons. Money. Attention. Possessions. At the age of three, I had dreams of becoming a professional wrestler. Being 8 brought us a World Series which in turn brought me the dream of wanting to become a Major League Baseball player. Turning 16 ushered in a dream of wanting to become a famous actor. Looking back, had I actually done something about these aspirations, such as joining a baseball team or taking acting lessons, who knows what may have happened. So life continued and I turned 18. The undeniable pressures of University were creeping up on me and like many kids at that age, I felt like I had to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. So in hopes of becoming famous and with the recommendation of a friend, I decided to go to Wilfrid Laurier University and join their Communications program, for these moves all marked the first steps in realizing my new and exciting dream: to become a famous TV or radio personality. In what form? Who knew! Just as long as it meant I'd become famous. So I went through the motions and it took me just over two years of being a University student to discover that something wasn't adding up here. I'm paying all this money and I haven't touched a camera yet! I'm going into debt but I don't even know what a soundboard looks like. Imagine a monkey scratching its head, but only that the monkey is me and I'm scratching for a year. Here I was in my third year, completely turned off of higher education. I had no idea where I was going, I had no idea what brought me there, and worst off, I felt lost. Lost in every way.

So as reality was jabbing me in the head, I met this girl at school and she told me about her plans to go to the Amazon for one month with this organization I had never heard of, Global Youth Network. From what I gathered, she was going there to learn about the culture and do some humanitarian work. As I was completely interested in her and completely uninterested in what she was saying, I did what most young male adults do: I pretended to be interested in what she was saying. I told her that I had the same aspirations and dreams and I asked her for more information. Now, if she had access to a movie which showed the past 21 years of my life, she would have uncovered me for the fraud I was because as my track record showed, I never did anything to actually turn my dreams into everyday life. Regardless, I got all the details and in hopes of trying to impress her as much as I could, I called them and inquired about any available trips.

Well, I sort of called them. I hung up after one ring and went on with my day. "Are you nuts? Why are you calling them?", I would ask. "Because I like this girl and this is the only way it's going to happen!", I would answer. A week went by and for whatever reason that day, I decided to pick up the phone and call again, but this time, I would let the phone ring until I got an answering machine because at least this was a way to convince myself that I was really trying. Two rings and a friendly lady picked up the phone. I got an interview the next day which I nailed and now I was going to Argentina. But more importantly, who cared?! This girl was going to be totally impressed!

Now, when you're living with six male roommates who are all typically "University," explaining a "cross-cultural, educational and transformative volunteer trip to the South" is not an easy thing to do. Being a male, this demonstrated that I had some sort of passion or emotion for something or someone that wasn't me and this was a big no no in the man field. Regardless, I went through with it.

So I guess the prelude started in Toronto, but what really started really started in Argentina. Somewhere in Argentina. Now, I'm not going to lie and provide you with a scene where I'm standing in a dewey field at sunrise with a bunch of disabled orphans holding hands and kumbaya'ing together with the presence of God hovering over us and smiling warmly. To be honest, I can't do much in terms of pinpointing a day, time or moment that brought me to the realization and truth of what I wanted to do with my life, but I can tell you it was somewhere in Argentina. And so here I was in South America understanding that I was an able-bodied, healthy individual with an education and a knack for socialization, a healthy and growing network, a good group of friends and perhaps most importantly - I not only realized that I was lucky to have this opportunity to travel abroad and 'discover myself,' but that I was even luckier to be an educated and sociable individual with good friends and a growing network because for the first time in my life, I had met people, family, neighbourhoods and others who weren't fortunate enough to be given the same opportunities to grow into the situations I had grown into. Sorry for putting you through the longest sentence of your life just now but that's how it came tumbling out of my mind. And so it wasn't the comforts of home, school or friendship that helped me come to this epiphany, but it was the opposite. In the presence of strangers in a strange land, I figured out just who I wanted to become.

Each 'Global' trip that I've done has been unique and beneficial to my growth in its own way. California the following year taught me the importance of relationships and being equal in the face of those who society tells you are lower than you. Venezuela the next year taught me a lot about my leadership abilities. And Kenya, most recently, has taught me about the remarkable strength and hope that others may deem as weak and hopeless. The beauty is that people are people no matter where you go. A happy moment calls for a smile and a sad one can call for a cry. I've been fortunate enough to be able to go to different places and realize that we are mostly all the same and that we are all in this together. Brothers and sisters.

And so three trips were enough to convince that girl in University to marry me and four trips were enough to convince Global to hire me. And although it's been 22 years since I interpreted that voice inside me screaming "GET FAMOUS!", I think I've finally learned in which way that voice was craving for me to get attention: by using my education, knack for socialization and healthy and growing network to educate others and at least for now, assist them in helping the local community or traveling abroad so they can all say something along the lines of, "It all started in Argentina" too.


- Gilad